There’s money to be made in fear.
Whether it’s fear of boogeymen or fear of inadequacy, our emotions are readily preyed upon in order to separate us from our wealth.i “Problems” are conveniently created by deft marketers just as they present equally convenient solutions. This is classic late-night-TV shit. Do you need a broom that’s also a dishwasher? Are you tired of spoons that just aren’t big enough? Do you go to the bathroom more than once a day? etc.
In the Bitcoin realm, despite ample guidance,ii there’s still the misconception that the Grand Inquisitor, Tomás de Torquemada reincarnate, is going to knock on your door tomorrow and shake you down for “money laundering.”iii Whether or not this situation manifests itself misses the worst case scenario of such a conversation:iv
mircea_popescu: So you have a guy’s affidavit that he sent me 10 btc to addy x in tx y. So what now ?
asciilifeform: mircea_popescu: I’d guess: much of the panic re: btc ‘taint’ etc. comes from u.s. folks, who can be sent to the gasenwagen.v on very loose – rather than hard, ‘scientific’ – evidence.mircea_popescu: asciilifeform I don’t see any evidence whatsoever is the problem.
ThickAsThieves: Most americans have tainted all their coins by now
mircea_popescu: So the 10btc is… moved to my wallet, from which a diff sum is spent on whatever, baby squirrel tears. so what now ?asciilifeform: Think ‘astrology’, not astronomy.
mircea_popescu: It’s deposited to mpex, and a sum withdranw to pay for same. so… what ? It’s bet on bitbet, and it loses. sooo ?
asciilifeform: ‘<Mr. X owns black cat, is a witch’
mircea_popescu: It’s moved to another address. so ? They pick you up, you go “sorry, I sold them”. What now ? If they ask you who you sold them to, you give them the name of the prosecutor in charge.vi
mircea_popescu: derp.asciilifeform: Inquisitor: ‘Ok, find me the fellow who bought. he’ll sit on this here stake, next you yours, and will tell the truth’
mircea_popescu: “You, m’lad”vii
ThickAsThieves: You are suggesting an American to lie!?
mircea_popescu: Since we’re doing affidavits, prosecutor is welcome to an affidavit as to how he himself bought. And he can go hang himself with it.asciilifeform: Inquisitor: ‘libelling a faithful servant of the king, that’ll be an extra two years on the stake’
mircea_popescu: No, it’s the truth.
ThickAsThieves: Schrodinger’s Truthmircea_popescu: There is no such thing as bitcoin taint.viii Attempts to solve this inexistent problem, just like all the other attempts to solve inexistent problems in the history of human engineering are a waste of the presumptive solver’s time. Many many MANY genius minds wasted most of their time in pursuit of similar nonsense.
asciilifeform: The proposed legal defense, though, will work about as well here as it would’ve in USSR.
mircea_popescu: asciilifeform But that is entirely besides the point.
ThickAsThieves: Taint is a factor for terrorists though
mircea_popescu: No *coin or wallet* will ever solve the USSR-ness of the USSAixThickAsThieves: So taakix is obv a terrorist
asciilifeform: People are obsessed with technical ‘solutions’ because they cannot afford the actual working solution (suitcase, airplane, new passport)
mircea_popescu: That doesn’t make them less of a waste of, presumably, valuable brain gasoline.
asciilifeform: Aye but go tell the mortally ill fellow to renounce the snake oil. He’ll drink whatever.
There you have it. Fuck Darkcoin.xi Fuck Dark Wallet. Fuck taint. Fuck the Grand Inquisitor.
And… Have no fear.
___ ___ ___
- Our wealth being entirely a function of our time, that is, our Bitcoin.↩
- MP published Guidance: There’s No Such Thing As Bitcoin Taint on February 21, 2014. That’s four full months ago. Or four fucking years in Bitcoin time.↩
- “Money laundering” is a nifty bit of marketing used to euphemistically describe enemies of the State. Conform, or else. Consider that paying your neighbour’s kid $5 to mow the lawn makes the little twerp a “money launderer.” You know he ain’t paying his taxes before buying that ice cold slurpee.↩
- Via #bitcoin-assets↩
- “Gasenwagen” is Stan’s term for the doomsday bus that will round up dissidents and take them to the gas chambers. This might seem an apocalyptically grim worldview to the North American reader, but Stan’s from the former Soviet Union… The advantage of this level of, for lack of a better word, paranoia is that it gives birth to things like the Cardano. At least we hope.↩
- Such a solution could only, and I do mean only, come from the man who so thoroughly told the SEC where to go that they… listened.↩
- “Lad” not referring to a young chap, but rather a “Lord.” “Plain language” my left foot.↩
- It’s amazing the poor guy doesn’t go hoarse repeating himself like this. I guess that’s another advantage of IRC over voice communication: fingers are more durable that vocal chords.↩
- This is why it’s the United States of Egypt, y’know?↩
- Amir Taaki is the Dark Wallet guy and one of the many hawkers of “taint solutions.”↩
- And Litecoin too.↩