Fertility’s in the air.

Wet lily stigma

How important are hormones ? More than just differentiating the personalities of the sexes, hormones intertwine the sexes via pheromones. In an intoxicating dance the likes of which pharmacology (or at least aromachology) could only hope to bottle and sell, we move and sway according to ancient rhythms that know neither time nor place. We understand these mechanisms to some degree theoretically (MHC compatibility, etc.), at least based on research in other mammals, but “modern science” has little to say on pheromonal interactions and responses.i 

As my second boy is now closer to two years of age than one, and irrespective of what “the science” says, The Girl‘s body is undeniably telling her that now is a perfectly good time to pop another munchkin out. Little does her body know or care that the world doesn’t need more quantity even if it’s obviously as starved for quality as ever, so we’d be far better off to stick with just two children from a societal perspective – a perspective just so happens to align with our own narcissistic needs for “balance” and “sanity,” meaning there’s not really any rationalisable reason to have more children, at least for us – but our biological vessels haven’t the faintest clue about these circumstances and could frankly care less. So our biologies are telling us to fuck like rabbits. Like RFN. No domes, no pills. Like what are we waiting for, a written invitation ?

And so it is that The Girl’s hormones are going nutso right now and she’s pumping out pheromones that are in turn driving me bat shit crazy, but neither of us has any intention of channeling this fucktastic energy into more offspring. Still, it’s not like we can just wish the energy away, so the net effect is that I’m channelling my side of the problem into the closest things I know to be controlled ways. Of course, my eyes are still seeing fertility everywhere and my loins are still feeling it everywhere, but runs/workouts 4 times a week, out-of-town travel every second week, and a nearly otherworldly obsession with with the art and design, it’s mostly going well.ii But even still, the baby batter is on the brain! It’s like I can’t cross the street without needing to clean my pipes, choke the chicken, spank the monkey, or flog the dolphin.

It’s not just me either. Even our lilies, delivered fresh weekly from Holland via our neighbourhood florist, are supercalafrajalistically fragrant and luscious right now. I mean, check out how dripping this stigma is. Clean-up on aisle four!

Fuck me if there isn’t something in the air right now.
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  1. The discussion of body odor and attraction invariably leads to the question of human pheromones. Research on this topic is currently unresolved. We do not have the organ nor corresponding neural tissue to perceive pheromones as other mammals do, and data obtained for the most substantiated human pheromone, menstrual synchrony effects (e.g., McClintock 1971; Stern and McClintock 1998), has been criticized on statistical grounds (Wilson 1992; Weller and Weller 1997). Nevertheless, several new findings suggest that we may transmit and adorn aroma-chemicals that influence our sexual motivations. […]

    Estrus is a physiological phase of the reproductive cycle of female mammals, including primates, during which there is increased female sexual receptivity, proceptivity, and attractiveness (Lange, Hartel, and Meyer 2002; Gangestad, Thornhill, and Garves-Apgar 2005). The traditional view for human reproductive biology holds that female estrus has become “lost” or “hidden” over evolutionary time (e.g., Burt 1992), presumably to promote continuous male interest and thus facilitate long-term pair-bonding and infant care-giving. However, recent studies have suggested that women during the most fertile phase of their menstrual cycle (ovulation) are most attractive to males. This increased attractiveness is manifested through superior facial attractiveness and body symmetry (Roberts et al. 2004; Manning et al. 1996), higher verbal creativity and fluency (Symonds et al. 2004), and more appealing body odor (Havlicek et al. 2006; Singh and Bronstad 2001).

    via Neurobiology of Sensation and Reward, 2011 by Rachel S. Herz. (archived).

  2. Another part of the equation, at least as far as my current infatuation with fine art is concerned, is that money magnifies who we really are – it’s an accelerant for self-discovery – which makes late capitalism the greatest window into the human condition ever invented. And… it turns out that I’m an artistically interested guy!

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