Unboxing, set-up, and testing of NoSuchlAbs FUCKGOATS on MacOS? OpenBSD? LINUX!!

What follows is recipe for setting up the only known fully auditable True Random Number Generator – formerly known as Cardano and presently known as FUCKGOATS – as released by NoSuchlAbs. This recipe has been tested on MacOS 10.6 Snow Leopard but should also, at least in theory, work on any subsequent MacOS thereafteri :

1. Make an order here (here).
2. Wait a couple weeks.
3. Take delivery.
4. Carefully unwrap.ii Marvel at the Lilliputian dimensions and supreme delicacy of the device.iii
5. Install USB-Serial driver.iv
6. Restart computer.
7. Plug in device to computer.
8. Confirm correct installation of driver. v
9. Open System Preferences > Network.
10. Click `+` to add a new device interface.
11. Select `USB-Serial Controller` from the Interface drop-down menu.
12. Click `Advanced`.
13. Under the Modem tab, select `Null Modem` from Vendor drop-down menu and `115200 bps` from Model drop-down menu.
14. Under the `PPP` tab, ensure that only `Use verbose logging` and `Connect using a terminal window (command line)` are selected. Click `OK`.
15. Click `Apply`.
16. Turn off flow control and special control character parsing. vi
17. Click `Connect` and then click `Continue` in the resulting pop-up window.
18. 5. Test FUCKGOATS device as per instruction manual.vii It just works.viii

Voila! You’re now that much closer to having your very first privately-owned computer! And it’s a MACBOXEN ? OPENBSDBOXEN ? LINUXBOXEN!!1ix

So clearly these noble Mactard efforts failed – as did similar efforts with OpenBSD – presently leaving you and your preferred flavour of Linux to forge a path through the jungle of false prophets. Or not. But tertium non datur. At least for now. Though instructions for Mac/OpenBSD will certainly be posted on this very page should they ever become available.

___ ___ ___

  1. Mac PowerPC users can also endeavour to install OpenBSD first before attaching FUCKGOATS. The following is, however, for those still clinging to Steve’s ghost. But a whole lot of good that will do you. GHOSTS AREN’T PEOPLE!!1
  2. Careful not to cut through anything but the absolute edges of the package. Not only are the electronic contents sensitive but there are also paper manuals inside to provide 1) offline support, and 2) transportational rigidity.
  3. The package arrives! The contents revealed:

    Fuckgoats unpackaged

    Fuckgoats unsheathed

    The Wunderwaffen studied.

    Fuckgoats front

    Fuckgoats back 

  4. If you’re in need of the Prolific Driver for Mac OS 10.6 – 10.8, it’s mirrored here. Goodness knows how long they’ll continue hosting this old version so I might as well. SHA512 checksum :

    Newer versions for newer OSen can be found on Prolific’s website ; other drivers, elsewhere. Ideally, and as ever, from your WoT.

  5. Confirm correct installation of Prolific driver by opening Terminal and typing `kextstat | grep prolific` and `ioreg -c IOSerialBSDClient | grep usb`. The result should look like this :

    Prolific Driver setup 1

    Image credit : Plugable Technologies

  6. Enter `stty -f /dev/tty.usbserial 115200 raw -echo -echoe -echok` in Terminal. This would work except for the fact that MacOS “Terminal” is broken in the head and won’t relay this command. Efforts to muck about with terminal via “cu” were similarly futile and even using third-party (ie. non-WoT) apps for serial connections yielded nothing but frozen garbage. Because non-WoT and what the fuck already, it’s not like there’s a world out there waiting for you to discover it, even if there are people waiting for you to discover them. But hey, if you have more success than I did, please to leave comment.
  7. The basic tests will be conducted using `dd if=/dev/tty.usbserial | hexdump -C`. The -iflag command as listed on the printed instructions doesn’t exist for dd on Mac. This gives you gobbledeegook for now.
  8. My Advanced Test Results for ENT and DIEHARDER are here : Round 1 & Round 2.
  9. As per DPB, you can seed your /dev/random pool with FUCKGOATS by installing rngd (apt-get install rng-tools).

8 thoughts on “Unboxing, set-up, and testing of NoSuchlAbs FUCKGOATS on MacOS? OpenBSD? LINUX!!

  1. Did it really take “a couple weeks” to get your unit?
    FG ship next business day after tx clears.

  2. […] through the day at SCR, I couldn’t help but agree. Just as no “computer” without FG plugged in has any right calling itself a computer, at least around SCR a sports car is lightweight […]

  3. […] some kind of misprint or inside joke. Or did Toyota go to such Achillean lengths as to install unauditable randomness in each and every limousine ? Just when you thought that Japanese VCRs and their […]

  4. […] auditable True Random Number Generator on MacOS and OpenBSD were met with misery and confusion. Only Linux was up to the task. Thank goodness for diversity! […]

  5. […] ensure that project perfection is achieved. These are the dentists, case lawyers, veblen-craftsmen, techno-utopians, and others who refuse to stop and refuse to settle for anything less than the ideals summoned up […]

  6. […] the living bejeesus out of $TSLA – is that it’s not a hardware game anymore. Yes, hardware still matters, but the competitive advantages in 21st century manufacturing lay in software. It’s been […]

  7. […] individualism of the Information Age is born largely of the nature of public-key cryptography. […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *