Mommy bloggers unite!

As you’re surely aware, there’s an entire alt-universe of primped, proper, and largely pallid wagsi who pride themselves in absolutely nothing more than pithy oneupmanshipii and vociferous blathering. Too “progressive” to resign themselves to supporting their husbands in whatever capacity he may deem fit, as was once customary in the wealthier parts of the world (and is still customary in the poorer parts today), they prefer to spend his money lavishly while spitefully pretending like they don’t need it.iii Because it’s the poor African children that need it. Donchaknow.

While this whole shmozzle is quite obviously disingenuous and flippantly flakey, it’s even worse than that, for it has also grown into an entire extractive industry until itself, sort of a “make money while you sleep” for kept women, sensuously seducing malcontented women with shimmering tackles of financial independence. Naturally enough, therefore, there are “academies” and “courses,” “tips” and “tricks,” “conferences” and “conventions,” all of which promise “6-figure incomes” in exchange for unspoken and unspeakable amounts of menial labouriv and time away from the families whose existence these blogs pretend to revolve around. Go figure.v

Of course, the purpose of all this isn’t to make any kind of difference in the world, oh no, that’s what sociopaths and those godforsaken “career women” do. No, these caring, loving, dutiful mothers of 1, 3, 5, and even 7 children are anything but abnormal anti-socialists, even if they regularly wrap themselves in a “not your average blah blah” wrapper, and nor are they wage slaves, though they also wrap themselves in hilariously NASCAResque sponsorship logos on every square inch of their costumes and websites. Don’t sell out, just, y’know, sell out. Mhm. Right then.

Those contradictions being described for the mental ineptitude that they are, it’s worth noting that this infectious little worldview isn’t without its attendant benefits, to be sure, it could hardly survive otherwise, so what are some of these benefits in praxis ? And why are they so alluring ?

cazalla: #3 or #4 design change for dat bitcoin phoundation – – They never seem to forget the inclusion of token African kid with mobile.vii
kakobrekla: “We are migrating the website to a new and improved and more dynamic site. Please excuse any broken links or choppy pages as we work!” On that very page. So get ready for #5.

mircea_popescu: One wonders WTF the progre thinks progress actually is. “New improved more dynamic” = “broken”. So whydja want it ?viii
shinohai: Likely the same ppl that bitch about MPEx having that 90’s coded website when it works perfectly fine *for what it was designed to do*.

pete_d: Which, incidentally, ties into MP’s observation about smartphones being “TVs in everyone’s arse.” Web 2.0 (non-3d) is broken for usability, but functional for fucking around as supported by today’s discovery that it’s damn-near impossible to find out what ‘technologies’ and ‘features’ a Pampers diaper has.ix Their whole fucking website is dumbass moms giving their ‘reviews’ of products and idjit gizmodo rejects writing “How-To’s” and “Top 5’s.” Why learn anything or do anything when you can just dick around until the cows come home ?
shinohai: Truth.

pete_d: Of course, behind the scenes, is Proctor & Gamble, which is to say, that senile old limp-dick from Omaha. “Just giving the people what they want.”
shinohai: People don’t know “what they want.”

pete_d: The United States of Television : a channel for every star on the flag.
shinohai: Times eleventeen.x

pete_d: They want to “feel heard.” So that’s exactly what they get.
shinohai: Glad others find the meaning of life with such simplicity.

pete_d: They’re not actually heard, of course, no functional system could handle that much noise, but they are lent a convincing simulacrum of importance. Remember, these ‘others’ aren’t people in the sense that we are.

cazalla: I didn’t realise how pervasive the tidal shit from mummy bloggers were until I began looking up baby related things online.
mircea_popescu: This ironically is the first, and to date the most ample use of language. Stupid women spreading their stupid whatever it is while pregnant and nursing. And, much like insane notions of agency as defined legally (“Guy spreading his legs is DOING something ; gal eating herself into a bus size is not specifically doing anything”), the quantitative approach favours female dumb. “Oh, my blog got 5989546 comments”. “Yeah, from 10k idiots just like you.”

So in addition to the chance, the mere possibility, of being invited to a new car launch,xi a new restaurant opening, or being sent a free baby lotion for them to “review” on their blog, the overwhelming value of mommy blogs to their infintely numerous authors is three-fold : the feeling of being heard, the feeling of being understood, and the feeling of community.

Incidentally, this feeling is materially indistinguishable from the driving force of Gavin, Garzik, and the rest of the socialistoid redditards whose primary vital function is little more than agreeing with one another, pretending like dissent doesn’t exist, and generally ignoring the olive branches of Fate and the windows of Opportunity.

But what else can they do ? Admit that their life is pointless and worthless ?

___ ___ ___

  1. Wags = wives and girlfriends.
  2. And this, against their fellow women ! Oh, you thought it was really men keeping you down ? Think again. Men didn’t invent the jealous labeling of better girls as “rape victims.” It’s an entirely feminine construction. Like social media.
  3. And this, they call virtue ! Bah !

    I fancy virtue to be something else, and something more noble, than good nature, and the mere propension to goodness, that we are born into the world withal. Well-disposed and well-descended souls pursue, indeed, the same methods, and represent in their actions the same face that virtue itself does: but the word virtue imports, I know not what, more great and active than merely for a man to suffer himself, by a happy disposition, to be gently and quietly drawn to the rule of reason. He who, by a natural sweetness and facility, should despise injuries received, would doubtless do a very fine and laudable thing; but he who, provoked and nettled to the quick by an offence, should fortify himself with the arms of reason against the furious appetite of revenge, and after a great conflict, master his own passion, would certainly do a great deal more. The first would do well; the latter virtuously: one action might be called goodness, and the other virtue; for methinks, the very name of virtue presupposes difficulty and contention, and cannot be exercised without an opponent. ‘Tis for this reason, perhaps, that we call God good, mighty, liberal and just; but we do not call Him virtuous, being that all His operations are natural and without endeavour.

    Michel de Montaigne, The Essays, Chapter XI – Of Cruelty.

  4. Click/like generation : worthless in the same way and for the same reasons that burping, pissing and investing in diseased livestock are worthless endeavours.


  5. This is exactly, and I do mean exactly as the scam artistry embodied in that classic Dilbert cartoon.


  6. A site that, obviously, takes 12.93 seconds to load, is 2.4 MB in size, and looks like a roadside abortion. And these are the same incompetent twerps you want ‘developing’ Bitcoin ? Mkay. Enjoy.
  7. Because permissionless innovation ! Also, enjoy.
  8. Like mobile apps, like MacOSX, like goddam Porsches, like the entire fucking “civilised” stack. It’s all in shambles beneath a mountain of “I don’t bang her like that because it isn’t necessary and isn’t called for.”

    Ok, it’s not ~all~ in shambles, it’s not ~completely~ worth giving up on, and it’s not quite “near as makes no difference” either, chiefly because that little sliver, that little tenuous tendril of functionality extant represents humanity’s greatest hope. And that’s worth dying for.

    As to what the progre think progress actually is, it sure as fuck isn’t material domination. Eschewing this most reasonable and accurate definition therefore opens the door to any number of impossible to enumerate possibilities. It’d be a fool’s errand to even try to guess, much like it’d be a fool’s errand to guess John Nash‘s least favourite number.

  9. Tried cloth. Cloth sucked. They leaked like sieves, were 2-3x more expensive, and were bulky beyond reproach. Disposables (with wetness indicator strips!) it is.
  10. There are ~1.5 mn apps in Apple’s App Store. Each, it’s own TV station. In your pocket!
  11. Seriously, in my car blogging days, I witnessed bewildered mommy bloggers being flown in to LA just for the Auto Show, being put up at $1000 per night hotels, and being treated like journalistic royalty, quite despite the fact that these poor women were so badly out of their technical depth that the most they could muster was “How many car seats can it fit ?”

    But perhaps I’m too cynical. Perhaps their readers all bought new Ford Explorers and it was worth every penny of the expense. And perhaps all the money that the USG wasted on Florian Weimar and his “research” wasn’t a total waste either. I’m sure.

7 thoughts on “Mommy bloggers unite!

  1. […] and manipulative as anything Sillycon Valley has sold to unsuspecting victims of the “make money while you sleep” predilection, be it Facefraud, Twatter, or […]

  2. […] which is to say, “confirmation of your investing prowess and intellectual superiority as make money while you sleep-ers,” all of which is funded by inflation-exporting FED printing pressesx and unsustainably […]

  3. […] loserly lamentations emitted from the already-overflowing swamp of despondent wannabes who “just wanted to” – your fellow amateurs who came to expect – and the increasingly hungry and […]

  4. […] a particularly stiff Ketel One hangover or if he was just having a box-o’-tissue kind of day,v but he’s so far off the mark here that I can’t help but steal and chop his latest […]

  5. […] known world, they want to feel like they are – just like they want to feel like traders and online influencers regardless of whether such a thing ever manifests. Preferably while taking a selfie on Instasnap […]

  6. […] you’re neither a classicist enamoured with two- and three-hand dials,iii nor a wage slave forced to arrive and depart at precisely calculated intervals,iv what does the world of high […]

  7. […] trials, and tribulations of parents in the depths of newborn lyf ? The mommy blogger “industry” would certainly indicate so. But that aside, lest you think that everyone’s life but […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *