This is the wrong way to do the Internet. Don’t worry, there’s also a right way.

The wrong way to do the Internet: On the left we have a webpage, taken from the Washington Post, purportedly about that dragon of a Democratic fallguy. But if we take a sec to look around, and if we somehow manage to navigate past the sixteen flavours of visual rape, there’s a small chance that we zoom-in and scroll down to find, what you see on the right… a Google survey paywall:

Washington Post - Clinton and Google Survey

The right way to do the Internet: The scrappiest little media mogul you ever did see, Qntra:

Qntra landing page, Feb 5, 2015

The differences between the two news services are as stark as they are because each approaches the world from different causes. The former works from the premise that physical offices are required to house people with government-granted degrees in such a way as to curry the most favour with advertisers through the measurement of “eyeballs.”i The latter works from the premise that trust is the most important thing in the world, just as it was all those years ago everywhere from rural farming communities to ancient kingdoms and whatnot.

Now one of these news services belongs to the US’ newest mail-order catalogue serviceii and one of them belongs to La Serenissima. One of them fills their writers’ heads with dreams of unrealisable pensions, the other with an ingenious share distribution model. One of them insults and assaults its readers with eye-searing ads and redacted material, the other brightens your day with a cute little rabbit and zero cruft.iii

So you see there are really just two ways to do the Internet:

The wrong way is to bring your braindamage with you.
The right way is to do like Italy and get the fuck out of our way.

___ ___ ___

  1. As if “eyeballs” were worth anything at all and as if fiverr weren’t a thing. What is this, the open-source code movement? Oh, you must not have heard yet, that’s dead too.
  2. Amazon’s Jeff Bezos bought the Washington Post for $250 mn in August 2013. So like everything else TBTF, Amazon and by extension the Washington Post are just another arm of the USG. So… the “wrong way” article is from the Times, not the Post. Duh.
  3. According to pingdom, the WP post takes 7.76 seconds to load 960 requests totaling 10.1 MB of data, compared to the Qntra homepage, which takes only 1.28 seconds to load 6 requests totaling 67.6 KB of data. Why won’t Bezos think of those poor starving Africans and their shitty Internet?

2 thoughts on “This is the wrong way to do the Internet. Don’t worry, there’s also a right way.

  1. […] to Ted’s undoing was the publishing of his 35,000 word manifesto in the New York Times and Washington Post, at his own behest, a document that his brother was then able to identify as being of his pen […]

  2. […] is one created by Google expressly for the purpose of driving GMail adoption, which it equates with eyeballs… and pr0fit!!1 […]

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