Jooz and stereotypes.

Recently, quite unintentionally it must be said, I guided a conversation in -assets from meta-trolling and stupid peoplei to a conversation about jooz and stereotypes.

At this point, since that raw, virginal stab was so positively received, I’m going to give my Romanian translation skillz another workout :


Generally speaking, Jews pass for smart people.

Translated from the original In general evreii trec drept oameni destepti by Mircea Popescu.

Generally speaking, Jews pass for smart people; they’re seen to be knowledgeable and skilled at the mysterious and the exotic, they understand numbers, are good with people, have strong relationships, and generally control everything (all the money, all politics, and possibly rain). This theory, no matter how widespread it is, doesn’t have a lot to do with reality. If we look at their history, Jews are (collectively speaking, as each individual is different) some of the most stupid, naive, incompetent and incapable people. If there was a Heroesii game with world history, Jews would be one one of the knightly classes, that is, one of the most inept races with the hugest needs and most useless abilities.iii

You probably don’t believe me, so let’s make this more concrete. Jews begin the game 5000 years before Trilema (which started in 2008 AD), which means that unlike the Hungarians, for example, (or the Finns) they have a six-thousand-year advantage. Six thousand years. The end result? The Hungarians have a pretty rich country, are members of the European Union and NATO. They’re unassailable. There weren’t as many bombs dropped on Budapest in WWII as there were dropped on Israel since the war. Well what a big deal this is, this marathon, just because you’re up at seven in the morning while everyone else starts at one o’clock in the afternoon and yet you still end up in 50th out of 51 places ? Worst.

Yet, it’s not their fault, right? That‘s what you always hear from the incompetent, “Oh but I fell into a tough group“. You see, ladies, as we well know, are never 100% of the way towards their goal, it’s just a tough group. That’s why they’re not huge, that’s why they’re not staying up all night with whores and brandy, they have a tough group, alas. “Oh, but here come the invaders.” There is no place on this planet where you can’t possibly be invaded at a moment’s notice, so you can’t be better than others in the absence of invasion. Sad but true, my brother. However, I have at least two more ridiculous but concrete examples that will surely put a close to any possible discussion about how “I had tough groupand will instead demonstrate clear strategic incompetence (also known as “stupidity” in some circles) as the main cause.

I. Sabbatai Zevi. You don’t know him because you’re new, but in the old days (not ancient times, maybe, what, five centuries ago) a couple of nutjobs declared him the messiah, the one thing that I wouldn’t expect Jews to agree that this geezer was. And yet, the entire Hebrew population believed in him. Yes, literally all of them, from the Ukraine to the ass of Africa, there were even sessions held for municipal support and stuff. The guy had no army, no political relations, had absolutely no chance of provoking an insurrection, and he was the subject of the sultan.

How much of your brain do you have to be missing in order to maintain such stupidity? I mean really, the latter day equivalent would be “Now all the girls in Paris loudly support Clopotaru of Notre Dame as the most eligible bachelorette in all of France.” Hey, it’s cool, these guys were serious. And despite the fact that Jews are supposed to be known for having the best sense of humor,iv it must still be said: they erased (literally, with that marvelousness of theirs) any reference about this business, hundreds of years later. As you can imagine, such a developed sense of humor would behave like a fool on the Internet, unable to contend with the fact that it doesn’t matter.

Ah, and after some time the agitated Sultan invited the “socalled ProphetMessiahGeniusshining-fucking-cunt” for an audience, and when he saw him at the gate, told him to put on a turban, pray to Mecca and go about his job as a respectable Mohammedan. And so upon arrival the guy put a turban, went to Mecca and went about his job as a respectable Mohammedan. Months after arriving, still more boorish letters of encouragement (as notes were expensive to transport and secure as were the limitations of the day) by respectable Mohammedan, in which Jewish crackpots wondered why he hadn’t descended on them like a holy fucker riding on a white whore from heaven with flashing pink lights and given them a victory enema or something (in preparing the Turks, as it were).

Seriously now, do you know of any other nation who‘s been this stupid during their history? Maybe that’s why, like the redskins, they entered into contracts with the Americans, yes those ones. Yes, even though the Jews didn’t have the excuse of troglodytism, nor of illiteracy, nor of spending the last few thousand years grazing on the prairie with the bison.

II. Eretz Yisrael. You’d expect that after stupidity such as that, it’d be kept fresh in everyone’s mind. Right, Jews? The Hebrews did not however, instead were idiotic enough to not only (try to) delete the happenings of history, but to actually try to repeat them again.v So around 1900 (three centuries after the fun with Sabbatai) they thought it would be a good idea to start a country. Why? The giggles. What, everyone has a country, the Armenians have a country, the Albanians have country, the Zulus have a land to call home and yet somehow the Jews have no country ?

This is an example of slow-witted judgement, seriously now. Why don’t I sit here and call up the morons that I know and say “Look, that asshole has a wife, and that asshole has his wife, why don’t I have  a wife ?!?!?” Maybe if I have his wife and also his wife, I can have a whole harem. But that’s too complicated to consider when you’re such a jerk, so you make the Jews their country, as though that’s how countries are made, because they want to. vi

And then came the Second World War, when they were slaughtered like chickens. Why ? Ah, besides the fact that they were a spineless people in and of themselves, it looks like it was just as the Finns slaughtered the Russians for nothing, and the Gypsies were butchered by the Romans (plus the Germans) for nothing, and the Sudanese and Italians played the roles of butcher for no reason whatsoever (even more recently, as the Americans did to the Serbs, for nothing, and the Serbs did even less to deserve it). Well, the conclusion was drawn, the Jews were slaughtered because they had no country, and if we made them a country they couldn’t be slaughtered.

Literally, it was a rational politico-fantastical strategy for these guys, passing off as smart people despite their obvious sadness. So if we extend this reasoning to wild geese it should go something like this: they were flying spread out across the sky and were almost killed off, so now let’s put them all in a barrel. Just in case someone shoots the barrel we suckered them into, and then that’s correct strategic solution. Is it not?

And if you have everything placed at the heart of a shooting range on the border between the two crazy dictators, that’d be the best spot, plus there can be these bawdy provincial towns that no one cares about should be named after some shit found in an old almanac. There already exists a Jerusalem in Arizona, Ohio, Rhode Island, North Carolina – here, five in the US alone. Yes, they’re not all “necessarily in Jerusalem” to take the pounding, but they’re all in the barrel, so that all the geese can escape the slaughter.

Strategy, bro, seriously now. The biggest geopolitical stupidity in geopolitical history (a French idea, incidentally, and not surprisingly) and the main source of high-level tension for the last fifty to one hundred years.

You have to be particularly stupid to do stuff like this. Seriously now, that’s the kind of penetrating stupidity that makes a race become extinct, such penetrating stupidity cannot be explained by religion alone this “beautiful” name is a form of acutely dangerous stupidity.

Their success, like “victory park,” sounds a little hollow.


While MP’s critique of Sabbatai and his disciples is well taken, the insanity of placing Eretz Israel in the Middle East (instead of, as I might suggest, in South America) is uncontroversial (to me at least).

In reality, I don’t see that the Hebrew people are anymore the state of Israel than a Parisian Bitcoin miner is France.

In saying that “the future of the Jews is questionable,” MP missed ourvii capacity for adaptation, a capacity that’s survived as much disruption as it has quite simply because of its depth, not because it’s a capacity that’s “almost there I swear just give me a few more millenia to sort out the kinks.” Does the number of successful jooz in the world, by whatever definition of success one may care to use, seem to indicate otherwise ? I mean, even the Bitcoin Lordship is what, 10% Jewish ?

The six pillars for surviving in computer times are not only deeply embedded in Jewish culture and tradition, but these pillars turn out to be adaptive in an incredible number of times and highly desirable places, even though some undeniable mental spandrels persist at the group level. But really, this is what we expect from stereotypes.

With stereotypes, we highlight more bad than good, poking fun at ourselves as well as those around us as unreservedly as we can.

This bluntness, it turns out, is exactly what makes stereotypes so hilarious!

___ ___ ___

  1. Following my recent comment on Trilema:

    mircea_popescu: Also, the problem of Jooz is very simple : their mother.
    pete_d: Go on…
    mircea_popescu: No, that’s it.
    pete_d: I get the stereotype: naggy and whatnot but that doesn’t mean author x is going to stake his claim on a stereotype.

    mircea_popescu: Nah, that’s not it. Well first off, you introduced a stereotype by discussing Jews, so we’re going to do stereotypes. How the hell are you going to discuss “Jews” unstereotypically.*
    pete_d: That’s a point I suppose. But “stupid people” are subject to the same. Even if the specific vices thereof are a matter of perspective.

    mircea_popescu: Nah, there’s no stereotype of stupidity.** See, there’s a stereotype of a dumb blonde, there isn’t a stereotype of a hot blonde.
    pete_d: The stereotype of the hot blonde is that she’s out of your league
    mircea_popescu: Even if they’re both meaningful constructions, they’re not both stereotypical constructions. A good test being, of course, translation.
    pete_d: And that she’s surrounded by a moat of friends.
    mircea_popescu: There’s a lot more to it than that. big boobs, tall, a certain mouth shape… She dun has to be surrounded by friends, heck, she’s often alone, protected by the magic of her idiot ball.
    pete_d: Maybe she’s alone for a minute.
    mircea_popescu: Anyway, stereotype’s mostly a literary device. The poor man’s term of art, if you will.

    pete_d: So how does titling an article “the problems of stupid people” circumvent this term of art ? I guess I just think that people would actually read such a thing. Maybe because you wrote it. Maybe because it’s on Trilema.
    mircea_popescu: Anyway, back to the problems of the stereotypical Jew : same problem as shared by all middle eastern cultures, from Bulgaria to Iran : that the woman is overimportant in the culture. Unlike the other eastern cultures however, the Jew has very little means to address this problem. Can’t quite start stoning innocent girls in the road. And so, he’s stuck with liberal binging.

    pete_d: Liberal, if capitalist, binging. Make $$ now, give it away when dead.
    mircea_popescu: Myeah. “Frantic exertion as a decoy for impotence”, as teh TLP guy likes to say.

    mircea_popescu: So how does titling an article “the problems of stupid people” circumvent this term of art ? << Which term ? And nah, it doesn’t.
    pete_d: The term: stereotype

    mircea_popescu: Anyway, to save teh noobs : in no case am I proposing that the bizarro atrocities of the muslims, stereotypically grouped above under “stoning innocent girls in the road” are an effectual approach to the problem [of overrepresentation of woman in their own mental space]. It clearly doesn’t work, but then again it’s clearly what they’re trying. And obviously it’s not the god damned women’s fault that dudes are all hung up on them, conceptually, either.

    pete_d: Lol. The efforts of moslems maybe “clearly doesn’t work” at the superficial intention, but it seems to be successful a recruiting new folks.
    mircea_popescu: Eh, recruiting boys to do something sutpid is like finding flies to go on shit.

    pete_d: Well them Islam has the stankiest stink because it’s attracting hordes of ’em.
    mircea_popescu: Nevertheless, examine teh devices side by side. Muslim boy is like “You must wear the tablecloth on your head lest there’s weird stuff that scares me going on in my head”. Jew boy is like “Mom you must not be disappointed in me or else there’s weird stuff that scares me going on in my head.” It’s really not THAT different. Which is why they fucking hate each other.

    pete_d: That old competition for scarce resources. But instead of water or oil. It’s women to be scared of.
    mircea_popescu: More like “the right way to treat neurosis with home remedies”
    pete_d: “This is why you should be scared” “No it’s not! It’s this!”
    mircea_popescu: Obviously, there can only be one.
    pete_d: Lol. Tiger penis soup or cockroach bungholes. Take your pick.

    mircea_popescu: But honestly, either beats the English “If you ever enjoy anything you will die” nonsense. It’s shocking how the stupidest of European peoples managed to steal and run off with the stupidest corner of Jewish religion. It’s almost like explorer found ancient tomb, ran off with ancient pee bowl. As a hat.
    pete_d: The peg fit the hole I guess. As it always does
    mircea_popescu: As George Costanza once said, “If there’s a pinhead in the crowd, I gotta be on top of it.”
    pete_d: And as Homer Simpson once said, “This is the snack holder where I can put my beverage, or, if you will, cupcake.”

    *How? Quite like you did a couple years back. Quite like what the reader finds translated below.
    **In the context of the b-a worldview, “stupidity” is usually a malicious force of evil to be crushed by the strong hand of Bitcoin and the Lordship. While this is certainly the manifestation we see with derps like Gavin, stupidity can and historically has kept to itself for as long as it possibly could. Of course, and thankfully, that can’t be forever. Stupidity is there to be conquered, killed, raped, and generally bulldozed right over. The vanquished couldn’t have predicted. The victors most certainly could.

  2. The Ubisoft game.
  3. Original footnote: The reason that the knight is the most inept race is as follows: all six species (Knight, Barbarian, Sorceress, Necromancer, wizard, warlock) have hero specialisation in one of four areas (attack, defense, spell power, knowledge). Of these, two specialisations are based on battle (barbarians on the attack and knights on the defense), and four on magic (warlocks with spell power, Sorceress‘ with knowledge, Wizard and necro between the two).

    As the game basically revolves around the idea that “Don’t lose troops, Arie,” the result is that most of the time the hero is used to attack – because then you can afford to fight a group, when you kill them directly from the first attack, and you don’t let them suck you into a war of attrition. In other words, the barbarian ability (bonus when attacking) is useful the vast majority of the time, while the Knight ability (bonus when defending) is useful only in situations where you’re a) fighting against a human player, b) unable to use your spells, and c) not strong enough to kill him first. This situation may be encountered once in a hundred games, and as a game environment has several hundred battles suddenly becomes clear that 99`999 does not compare well with the knight 1. In addition he has nor draw any business fliers, has no magic, he has no skills, like all other species. Even more extra unit of Level 1 is the weakest in the game, all production being able to cope weekly one Halfling (Level 1 drive relatively weak, and produced in quantities as many 18week). As an extra special bonus, and unit level five is the worst in the whole game, and relatively expensive in both. In short, oy vey.

  4. See Rickles roast Sammy Davis Jr. if you somehow need evidence of the Jewish funny bone.
  5. This seems quite at odds with the Jewish prizing of tradition. And yet, ask a practising Jew what they think of Sabbatai and you’re likely to get a quizzically blank look. I say “likely,” because stereotypes are pretty useless for individuals, and you may get lucky.
  6. In Israel’s defense, it’s an incredibly vibrant and innovative place. A healthy number of the technologies we rely on daily have come out of Israel (which ones in particular are left as an exercise for the alert reader). And the food there, don’t even get me started on the food there!
  7. Cvasi-Spinozist though I may be, I’ll take possession of this argument instead of delegating it to some third-party.

16 thoughts on “Jooz and stereotypes.

  1. Mircea Popescu says:

    You know you really butchered that thing. Ef for effort.

    • Pete D. says:

      Eh, what can I say, having re-read it, you’re right.

      I’ve attempted to clean it up a bit but I’m inclined to think that there’s only so much a Mongolian goat-herder’s son can do to translate Macbeth into Oirat.

      If it wouldn’t be so stereotypical, I’d blame my Romanian-born mother for not teaching me this tongue :P

  2. jurov says:

    Lol Jewish land in South America? Something like ?

    Oh and according to modern genetic research, there are no true Hungarians anymore, almost no traces of Asian origin was found. So..guess Jews at least managed to maintain their bloodline better. Next time you’re trying to compare Jews with anyone, perhaps try Gypsies (or Roma since they can’t even decide how to call themselves).

    • Pete D. says:

      Something like that oblast except… warmer and surrounded by people more easily conquered.

      I guess Jews are sort of like a civilised Roma.

  3. Mircea Popescu says:

    “niste tipi asa misteriosi si exotici care pricep multe, stiu multe, au relatii multe, controleaza multe” = “some kinda mysterious and exotic dudes that understand a lot, know a lot, have a lot of relationships, control a lot”

    “cam la fel de bogata” = “about as rich”

    “Pai ce mare chestie e asta, se face maraton, tu incepi la ora sapte dimineata, altu’ incepe la ora unu dupa masa si ajungeti el pe locul cincizeci si tu pe locul 51 ? Naspa.” = “Well what big deal is this, so there’s a marathon, you start at seven am, another starts at one pm, you end up in the 51st place to his 50th ? Suckage.”

    Lotta moar work to do eh :p

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