The Difference Between Weak Hands And Strong Hands

You’re panicking over the bloodbaths.i
You’re selling your bitcoins.
You’re scrambling to fix HTTPS holes.ii
You’re using web-based Bitcoin wallets and password managers.iii
You’re using Windows boxes with Intel chips.iv
You’re investing in DDoS attacks.v
You’re investing in USG


We’re loving every minute of the big bad bear.vii
We’re buying your bitcoins.
We’re writing 3000 lines a day.viii
We’re airgapping.ix
We’re running old hardware.x
We’re not updating software.xi
We’re using PGP.xii
We’re rolling dice.xiii
We’re fixing the holes in WordPress’ head.xiv
We’re fending off DDoS attacks.xv
We’re laughing off USG attacks.xvi

And we’re calling the shots. After all, we’re La Serenissima.xvii

That’s the difference.


___ ___ ___

  1. Certainly ISIS and Ebola but mostly where it counts: in the pockets you once thought were full but are looking increasingly barren. At noon on October 15, 2014, the Dow was down 450 points, erasing its gains for the entire fucking calendar year, before recovering slightly to lose “only” 173 points. But no matter, the bullet hole is there and QE∞ can’t stop this bleeding.
  2. Heartbleed, Poodle, etc. Yup, SSL is a complete scam. Your banking, utility bills, and the rest of everything else you think is “secure” and “safe” may as well be in plaintext with its pants down.
  3. Because you’re too cheap/intellectually poor to use desktop app that don’t suck. So your webwallets get pwned and so do your password managers. And you’re using contemptible piece of shit services that don’t allow users to create passwords with more than 14 characters because it doesn’t really take that many characters to write your birthday and “zulu”, does it?
  4. Cuz that’s what’s cheep cheep, neh?
  5. This is what you do to yourself when you read news that isn’t Qntra and scripture that isn’t the logs.
  6. Or, as you might call them, “Registered Retirement Savings Plans” or “Individual Retirement Accounts.” These, in case you were blissfully unaware, are designed for those fools who trust the Inquisitor’s promises of “I’ll never crank this tighter, I swear. Cross my heart and hope to die,” while your balls are in his vice. You don’t have to look very far back into human history to see how burned you’re gonna get with this fucktardedly misplaced trust. See: Poland, 2013. And make no mistake about it, if you pull this same stunt, you’re gonna get motherfucking burned too.

    And what does the Inquisitor do with your balls? He cuts them off and buys Bitcoin to tank the price so he can keep pretending like it’s 1999, he buys Chief Derpists to unconvincingly derp about block size increases, and he buys LMO food because “optimal stock.” Generally, he swings his stupidity and fleeting power in every destructive way imaginable. Don’t support terrorists like this. Just stop.

  7. That is, the unwinding of the monumental Federal Reserve Ponzi/pyramid scheme. After sound money regains its rightful throne, such schemes will be known as “Fed schemes.”

    US Federal Reserve Bank octopus cartoon - Aldrich Plan 1912

  8. Like we did on October 15, 2014. After all, writing is one of The Six Pillars For Surviving in Computer Times, y’know.
  9. With a USB stick and an old, offline computer. See MP’s Practical Guide on how you can to (when Trilema stops being DDoS’d) 
  10. Like real men. Like sane men.
  11. “If software ever worked, it will always work. Always.” –Paul Niquette via Stan D.
  12. See Please To PGP (Guide for Linux, OS X, Windows) 
  13. That’s how you get decent fucking entropy for passwords and private keys. None of this /dev/random shit.
  14. Matt Mullenweg is a derp who won’t fix the holes in his own head because “the holes aren’t that big and no one uses them neways donchaknow“, but don’t let that stop you from fixing your blog’s WP yourself!
  15. No matter how many rounds they fire at us we’ll still separate the lemma from the palea.
  16. Eh nice try with the USMS Silk Road auction, fuckers. But twas only a try, not a do. And now we get to watch you bleed from every orifice like the diseased sack of shit you are.
  17. “Who in their senses, one wonders, would leave the fertile plains of Lombardy to build a settlement – let along a city – among these marshy, malarial wastes, on little islets of sand and couchgrass, the playthings of current and tide?” asks John Julius Norwich at the beginning of Venice: The Rise To Empire. My answer: the same people who’re leaving the fertile plains of Fiat and building an empire on Freenode.

9 thoughts on “The Difference Between Weak Hands And Strong Hands

  1. Gabriel Laddel says:

    Lovely title, lovely prose.

  2. pankkake says:

    Hash: SHA512

    This is so stupid on so many levels.
    Version: GnuPG v2


  3. […] is exactly why strong hands neither upgrade software not use newer hardware. […]

    • Vern Bogashesky says:

      Yeah, I too use a 90’s 486 SX and Windows 3.11 because I’m a man… Or a moron.

      I’m not sure if you need to try harder, or you’re trying too hard. Either way, you come off like a tool.

    • Pete D. says:

      I don’t know if you need to try harder to understand the unbridgeable chasm between you and I or if you’re trying too hard to bury your head in the sand and pretend like the world should just be nicer to you.

      The world doesn’t give a shit if you think that sanity is mean and hard and not at all what you learned in school, y’know?

  4. […] advocated for the gold standard as a young man. In his earlier days, before becoming subsumed by the inflationary Octopus, he was a thinker of notable repute and, in 1966, at age 40, Greenspan wrote a paper entitled […]

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