You Can’t Have Fun With Words In A Laboratory Environment

Political Correctness is a scourge upon humanity.i It’s easily worse than Ebola, AIDS, and genital warts combined. It’s just the worst. And its potency in North America has become such that it’s hard to remember what life was like before. This, of course, is the exact fucking point. The point is that PC sucks the boldest expressions out of language, it sucks the most vivid colour out of words, and it sucks the fucking intelligence out of people who frankly can’t afford it.

Then why is PC increasingly prevalent? Because it’s a hell of a lot easier to herd sheep to the slaughter when all they can say is “baaaaaah,” which is exactly where your false prophets are taking you.

After re-watching the 1996 classic Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood last night, it struck me just how sanitized, controlled, and laboratoryesque the public discourse has become even in just the last 18 years. The following are a few quotes and conversations from the film that are worth memorializing because they’re just that free, open, and critical of culture. This shit will blow your mind :

Ashtray: Hey, Preach, what up nigga?
Preach: Y’all need to stop using the word nigga. You see, it’s terms like the word nigga that the white man uses to take away the self esteem of another race.
Ashtray: Word.
Preach: Oh yeah, remind me to pick my laundry up from that chink motherfucker up the street.
Ashtray: We didn’t even do nothing.
Officer Self Hatred: What? You think you tough? [pulls gun on AshtrayYou ain’t so tough now, little nigga. I hate your black bastards, you *stink*! I hate your black skin. I hate your black pants. I hate black pepper. I hate black keys on a piano. I hate my gums, because they’re black. I hate Whoopi Goldberg’s *lips*. I hate the back of Forrest Whittaker’s neck. Huh? Most of all, I hate that black-ass Wesley Snipes.
Loc Dog’s Grandma (after Loc Dog punches her in the face): “You still hit like a bitch, motherfucker.”
Ashtray’s Dad: “You use a condom?”
Ashtray: “No.”
Ashtray’s Dad: “Good! That’s my boy! That’s my boy! Yo, never use condoms, son. They take away all the feelin’.”
Ashtray’s Dad: Let me give you some advice my father gave me, all right? Give up hope. Look at me. Dreams are for suckers. Ain’t no future for you. And don’t think about getting no job, Tray, ’cause a black man ain’t got no place in the workforce.
Ashtray: So hold up. Let me get this straight. What you’re trying to say is: Don’t get caught up in the white man’s system of self-perpetuating unemployment and wind up trying to survive on welfare checks and food stamps, right?
Ashtray’s Dad: Wrong, man! Hell, ain’t nothing wrong with no welfare check. That’s called “free money.” Hell, our family survived six generations on it.
Ashtray: Thanks, Pop.
Loc Dog: How much for these chips?
Korean Woman: Das five dala!
Loc Dog: Five dollars? Damn! I better get some sucky-sucky with that!
Loc Dog’s Dad: Let me tell you about drinking and driving man….boy that shit is fun man…yo what you do is get yourself a forty right, then you get on the freeway, punch it to 85 then you turn off you lights let go of the steering wheel boy it would bug you out man i’m telling you.

Can you imagine anything of the sort being released for general consumption today? If it somehow slipped through the cracks and past the Ministry of Truth, the resulting social media derpage would flood the oceans more than the melting ice caps ever could. It’d be chaos, I tell you! Just think of the polar bears!ii

The Wayans brothers, if not Damon then at least Shawn and Marlon, made movies as recently as 10 years ago that could in no conceivable way be released in theatres in 2014.iii It can happen that quickly. Hell, it did happen that quickly. As recently as 2009, the Wayans’ were reduced to the neutered, snivelling excrement that was Dance Flick, a riff off of Step Up, Centre Stage, and the like. From the trailers alone, the differences between the decades are nothing short of remarkable. In their newest movies, racial humour is limited to nonconformity “issues” and  centres around coconut blacksiv who’re just trying to get by in the white man’s world. It’s completely trite, equally mundane, and lacks even a hint of the social commentary that made their earlier works so hilarious.

This is what happens when you can’t use words lest they have even the most obtuse and narrow-minded “negative connotation” that the speaker couldn’t possibly be aware of much less give a fuck about. No wonder English-speaking couples can’t stand each other after a few years and get a fucking divorce. Communication in English is literally impossible under the restraints of PC and can therefore only lead to the use of inherently vague and ambiguous descriptions. Every third word has to be “like” because nothing can be said directly. What remains is as tangible as men’s vintage underwear and about as useful.

This, of course, is a serious fucking problem and also the precise reason why the Internet is no place for the intellectually and financially poor. The world is too big, too powerful, and decidedly too painful for the average English-speaker. They deserve whatever Cisco et al. sells them. Fuck, they’d struggle to live without it. Yet freedom of expression still matters. It’s the reason why 17-month-old CoinDesk is now sucking the toes of 5-day-old Qntra? The Good Internet exists and it’s here to stay. And it’s as offensive and as politically incorrect as fuck.

Unlike those of you on welfare,v for those few of us working from causes, there’s hope. Soon enough, we’ll be writing and producing our own movies. And, who knows, we might even give the Wayans Brothers a second chance.

That’s what freedom and power are about, y’know?

___ ___ ___

  1. PC also happens to find its origins in, surprise surprise, Communist Russia! From Britannica:

    The term first appeared in Marxist-Leninist vocabulary following the Russian Revolution of 1917. At that time it was used to describe adherence to the policies and principles of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union (that is, the party line).

    So PC is all about towing the party line. Sound familiar? By chance, does this sound like the socialist fuckhole that is the USA and its puppet states? If you’re awake, it should. You can test this yourself. Should you find yourself in North America in the company of average people of average intellect, say something unconventional or contrary to them and witness your own denouncement as “not nice,” “not funny,” and “a troll.” The predictability of their responses can either be lulzy or depressing, depending on your general disposition and what you had for lunch that day.

  2. Speaking of chaos, do yourself a favour and read James Gleick’s Chaos: Making a New Science. You won’t look at the philosophasters who model “climate change” the same way again. Ultimately, “climate science” reduces to climate religion, complete with apocalyptic prognostications ready to scare you stiff. Not that we should pollute (we still have to drink the water and breathe the air) and not that we should be wasteful with energy (it’s still an expense)…
  3. See White Chicks (2004). No seriously. Watch it. It’s some lulzy shit.
  4. Just in case: dark on the outside, light on the inside.
  5. This includes not only your government job but also your private sector job that’s only possible because of a government-funded “youth employment program” or some such. To say nothing of those of you who are private contractors building golden toilets for the government, much less those of you who sit at home drinking 4 litres of Coca-Cola while you wait for your unearned cheque in the mail.

10 thoughts on “You Can’t Have Fun With Words In A Laboratory Environment

  1. […] do, just as soon as the US’ natural wealth and post-war momentum wore off… Not that the closing act of America’s global relevance could be anything other than what we’re currently […]

  2. […] Christmas” is to a stranger in December. Both expressions are seen to be insensitive and politically incorrect simply because they’re so precise. Not only is Jesus not all of our saviour but how could […]

  3. […] the nature and origin of both the helpful and the hurtful, that some topics of conversation are so politically incorrect and so “already solved”iii that even broaching the subject is tantamount to […]

  4. […] and the iatrogenics and the regulatory capture and the shit food and the useless money and the political correctness braindamage came out of nowhere and totally caught us all by […]

  5. […] in the Americas today, where functional parenting, much like words, are taboo, there exists a state of affairs wherein the black community, once the US’ […]

  6. […] with etymologies beyond your grass are inherently bad. “How elitist, how racist, etc.” Fuck off. […]

  7. […] Christmas” is to a stranger in December. Both expressions are seen to be insensitive and politically incorrect simply because they’re so precise. Not only is Jesus not all of our saviour but how could a […]

  8. […] because you’re white and white people can’t call anyone racist darntootin! Thems the rulez! […]

  9. […] victory was nothing if one of libertating political incorrectness over stultifying political correctness, so that the two are cut from the same cloth in this regard only further lends credence to the […]

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