A simple, undefined reply when an ignorant comment or action is made. Brought to life in the South Park series, when Mr. Derp made a guest apperance at South Park Elementary as the chef for a day, followed by hitting himself in the head with a hammer and exclaiming “Derp!”

That’s what a “derp” is. It’s also the adjective that best describes the disciples of Doge, which isn’t pronounced “doggie”, or “dog”, but “doej”. The derp that is Doge is magnificently exemplified by Nick Spanos, seen here above claiming, while apparently drunk/high, two questionable points of pride in the same breath:

1. That being a squatter means something, and

2. That Bitcoin is something that can be known.

Have the tears of laughter stopped? Don’t worry, they will.

Random block rewards and 1 minute block times make Dogecoin the Skinner Box of the cryptocurrency world. You never know what you’re gonna get! Well, other than socially awkward groupies tripping over each other’s capes to be first pumped and then dumped. The gullibility index of Dogers is through the roof, though their social aspirations are noble enough, if completely misguided. The scam being perpetrated by Billy Markus and Jackson Palmer, the creators of Dogecoin, is Mt Gox^ActiveMiner and will end just as spectacularly.

Bitcoin is valuable because it’s scarce, secure, and non-physical. Dogecoin’s ties to a cute mutt make it memorable but that’s about it. With 98 billion of the things scheduled to be mined in the first year, then only 5 billion every year thereafter, Dogecoin is destined to make a lot of poorly dressed teens, the type who shoot iPhones with shotguns when Apple taketh away, eat a lot of crow, or more likely, shoot a lot of dogs. Dogecoin has no value, no matter the delusions of its users.

The Dogederpage above isn’t confined to NYC either, the world’s first Dogecoin ATM recently launched in Vancouver, the same city that launched the first Bitcoin ATM. And the Decentralized Dogecoin/Dance Party, also apparently focused in Vancouver, is just some next level shit. You need to see it to believe it.

Summary of Today’s Lesson: There’s only one Bitcoin.

13 thoughts on “Dogederps

  1. Nick Jachelson says:

    When NYC Bitcoin Center opened up, I was very excited. Finally a place to have a discussion about bitcoin with like-minded people, right? So I made my way down there.

    When I came in, it seemed like everyone there was unemployed, a junkie, homeless or all of the above. Then I saw a dogecoin logo on a projector. I also realized many people there were involved with OWS, which made me very uncomfortable. I had to get out, but they were trying to get my personal info and get me to sell my bitcoins.

    I also have reason to think (but no proof, Arianna will not confirm) that the infamous “woman at a bitcoin meetup” happened at NYC Bitcoin Center. I would not be surprised.

    In summary, this institution and it’s leader Nick Spanos are very bad for bitcoin’s image because they have ties to OWS and promote crap like doge.

    • The endless variety of fuckwits found in nature can be very bad for themselves and for themselves only. It is plainly impossible for some US derp derping around in whatever US swamp to be bad for Bitcoin. It’s almost equally impossible for same derp to be good for Bitcoin. In spite of all the yakking, fuckwits are quite strictly irrelevant to Bitcoin.

      That’s neither good nor bad, and in either case is nothing to Bitcoin.

  2. […] Bitcoin is a world-eater and it sleeps for no man. So we can waste our time trying to convince retro-doge-rockers why Bitcoin is world-changing, or we can take on the ruthless world of finance […]

  3. […] of something far superior. Today, you can buy a million satoshis for $6 or you can buy most of the Dogecoin for sale on the market. Incredibly, some people will actually go for the latter.v This is nonsense. […]

  4. […] to him… Cultlike. Many people would argue the mass of flesh surrounding Dogecoin has been cultlike for some time, but memes tend to do this. It isn't like anyone was warned where this was […]

  5. […] list of Bitcoin scammers is, of course, very, very long. MaidSafe, Usagi, BitAngels, Dogecoin, Litecoin… the list goes on. In fact, it’s so unbearably long that it’s nigh on […]

  6. […] their coins. Illegitimately convincing them is considerably easier, which has everything to do with target demographics. […]

  7. […] It’s also necessary that production be paired with thinking. This is why altcoins are scams, why smart contracts are scams, and why run-of-the-mill entropy is a scam. There’s […]

  8. […] anything ? This dumb fucking confection isn’t threatening anything in the exact same way that Dogecoin isn’t threatening anything. Get over […]

  9. […] accomplished by altcoins. Instead, altcoins are used to “make money in your sleep” and scam children out of their lunch money. You wouldn’t be alone in sensing that this is a travesty of a missed opportunity. […]

  10. […] Zcash today isn’t even as operationally useful as Dogecoin or Litecoin. In fact, I’d be thoroughly surprised if Zcash ever attained anywhere near either […]

  11. […] Real Bitcoin project and create an Altcoin For The People despite the already spectacular array of exactly such garbage. It… didn’t work. And no one is surprised […]

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