With prices on the rise for pre-cuckedi NA sports cars from 10-20 years ago,ii I recently made my way to Vancouver to test drive a 2011 Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG.iii Possessed of the most dramatic and possibly unrepeatably engineered doors of the last 50 years, could the actual drive possibly match the theatre of those gullwing gateways?
Meeting the 32-year-old Chinese kid who’d owned the car for eleven(!) years, I seriously inspected the car as any potential buyer would, finding it to be in strong aesthetic condition overall, and with no obvious indication that it had been in two light “incidents” early in its life. After reviewing a few service records, we set off with the owner behind the wheel. He drove like I imagine most owners of sports cars drive, which is to say with the same observable skill as your average female Uber driver. With only the shortest and most tentative stabs of throttle giving away the ride as other than a Corolla Hybrid, the bellowous roar of the 6.2L engine lasted mere split seconds before steel anchors found themselves hastily applied. We popped on and off Trans-Canada Highway 1, switching seats for the journey back to the originating parking lot.
My impressions behind the wheel? The iconic gullwings are easy to reach if you have a 6’3″ wingspan, but even my very averagely-lengthened torso (proportional for my 6’1″ frame) found itself too highly perched on the carbon-backed electric seats. The steering wheel extends towards the driver’s chest plenty far enough, but unlike the 992 or even R35, the cowl in the SLS is too low and it still leaves you feeling like you’re sitting on top of the car rather than inside of it, even with your author’s frizzy hair brushing the ceiling. Fine for a cruiser but not for a vehicle of such sporting pretensions, at least not if you want to pick up any kind of pace and enjoy any kind of connection en route.
The long nose, that phallic protrusion towards the horizon? Very manageable and not in the least bit unwieldy.iv The steering? Sorta accurate but not much fizz. The transmission was a particular disappointment: failing as the wheel-mounted paddles did to relate to much of anything at all. Not only was the dual-clutch laggy, but the paddles themselves had no feel to them, and I found myself wondering if I’d even changed gear at all after flicking them. A manually-operated musical instrument this isn’t, though the M159 is so sonorous and invigorating, you’re mostly happy to mash your right foot and enjoy the crescendoing ride in Auto. In true muscle car fashion, you could happily buy this car for the experience of that engine alone, and that’s before you get the aftermarket Akrapovic or Renntech upgrade. A product of the golden age for factory exhaust notes? Surely.v
So it moves, it motors, but a driver’s car the SLS AMG is not. And with eagle doors closed, I’m not sure if it’s good looking enough? There’s such thing as German enthusiasm, but front and back, the SLS currently reads as a bit too staid of a design.vi Black exterior suits the car well enough, but the body shape lacks muscularity and imposition. Sure it’s “clean” but it’s frankly not striking enough for CAD$ 300,000 this example was fetching… much less the CAD $425,000 – 500,000 that American dealers seem to be content asking today.vii Could it be an “investment” ? Given the currently implosive trajectory of AMG-Mercedes, very possibly, but that’s not enough of an impetus for me to add it to my stable.
Overall, like the 296 GTS I drove a few months ago in Italy, the SLS AMG was a good reminder why I don’t much care for “standard” versions of sports cars. Quite simply, they’re not designed for me. Even though I golf (and how) and might still throw my clubs in the back of any one of my cars, I’m not a 70-year-old retired dentist who does that and only that. As a barely middle-aged man with just a bit more gas left in the tank, I still need to be more plugged in, more hunkered down, and more en rapport with the machine. So it really has to be the Black Series, the Assetto Fiorano, or the GT2/3/D version of these cars : the ones with max edge.
Or maybe I’m actually just looking for an old shitter… 240Z… G-body… or…
- “Porscheflation” indeed, and it applies beyond just that! ↩
- See especially 997 GT3/RS, 991 GT2 RS, 430 Scud, 360 CS, etc. ↩
- Well, I was actually in Vancouver check out World Cup first-hand, taking in the Round of 32 game between Switzerland and Algeria, which the “Europeans” won in textbook manner 2-nil…
but since I’m always on the hunt for more cars, and since private sellers are much more willing to put a few more kilometers on their personal vehicles than stuffy dealers, I couldn’t let this opportunity pass by to drive one of my poster cars of the Top Gear hey-day. ↩
- But maybe I’m just used to that kind of thing? ↩
- Though we shouldn’t discount a brighter future in 5-10 years once manufacturers start making market-specific models again. It really is the 1970s and 1980s repeating, except this time it’ll be North America that gets the power and Europe that gets the shaft. ↩
- Though of course it will continue to age well. ↩
- USD$ 300,000 – 350,000 at current exchange rates! ↩